Archive for May, 2010

My Kind of Book Learnin’

I do my best book learnin’ in an outhouse behind the library.

Happy Hour

I don’t have a drinking problem. That’s prescription vodka.

Deep-fried Twinkies

I like to indulge in some junk food from time to time. One of my favorites is a deep-fried Twinkie. After all, it’s not every day you can have a deep-fried Twinkie. Unless you’re one of those fat cats with a pantry full of thousands of Twinkies and a deep fryer in your kitchen. And [...]

Note to Self

Remember to save blood in a measuring cup next time I cut my finger so I can know for sure how much blood I lost.

The Finger That Bleeds

I cut my finger with a knife and it bled. I forgot to measure how much blood I lost. It could have been an ounce or maybe a gallon. Now I’ll never know.